Tag: read this

Once Upon a Time…

Once upon a time there was a Mum whose baby just didn’t seem quite right. He wasn’t doing the baby stuff that all the other parents said their babies were doing, he hated being fed, he loathed sleep and he cried a lot. Like screamed, all the time, way more than babies usually do. His Mum had never been a parent before, but deep down inside she knew that something wasn’t right, so she visited doctor after doctor trying to explain that she felt in the pit of her stomach that her baby’s body wasn’t happy and perhaps it had something to do with what she was feeding him. Only to be told, that what she was experiencing was normal. After a long time, someone finally listened and perhaps agreed that he might be reacting to what he was being fed, but only because his weight on the chart now reflected that he should be investigated further. From then on the Mum decided to listen to her gut more often and follow her instincts, and mostly, they lived happily ever after.

Twice upon a time there was a Mum who had learned to listen to her gut for the health of her baby. She gave birth to her second baby, who very quickly became unwell and in a lot of pain. She visited the doctor, again, even though she had very broken trust from past experiences and suggested that she knew her baby was reacting to food she had eaten. The doctor completely squandered her suggestion and told her that it was rubbish, and to eat whatever she liked and sent her on her way. The mum knew herself, she knew her baby, and she followed her instincts. And it turns out, she was right (again!). For two years she fought for the health of her son, and not only was she heard in the end, but she lifted his health above and beyond what was ever expected and used her experience to help inspire and empower other Mums who were also fighting to be heard. And for the most part, they lived happily ever after.

Thrice upon a time, there was a Mum who could tune in to that quiet inner voice, deep within her gut, the one full of doubt, but reason, despite being broken over and over. She trusted herself and her baby to lead them through the right path to health and happiness. When her third baby was a few weeks old, covered in fiery, sore skin, on her face, all over her back and down her arms. she ignored the suggestions of hormone rash and cradle cap, and she found a strange suggestion in the voice in her gut. (The voice told her that her baby was reacting to coconut, which really sucked because she was already dairy free and all the yummy treats were made from coconut!) She listened to it, and within three days her babies skin was miraculously clear. She continued to tune in to her most inner Mum voice and her baby has been the happiest and healthiest of all the children, and in fact at two years old has never needed to visit the doctor. And so far, they lived happily ever after.

The moral of the story? That voice inside your gut is there to be listened to, it knows more than you could ever imagine. No one is more expert on your child than you are. If someone tries to tell you it is normal, and you know it’s not, tune in to that voice and search for the answers you are looking for. If you are going to trust anything, trust that voice that holds your Mum instincts. Sometimes you might need to gently peel away layers of fear, or pride, or anxiety, to hear it properly, then when you get that niggling message, make sure you don’t ignore it, it’s trying to tell you something important.

Kayla2 Comments

Why we left behind our quarter acre dream

While most people tend to outgrow their houses when they add to the tribe, our family of five has just downsized! We have left behind a quarter acre land with chickens, bees, fruit trees, berry bushes, veggie garden, outdoor kitchen area and plenty of (neglected) grass and sheds, and large 1920s bungalow. Instead we have downsized to a section half the size and a nice tidy little house across town (that’s five minutes away, for you city folk!)

While leaving behind a lifestyle that enabled us to supply our own eggs, honey, fruit and veggies was a little sad, while we were there we were left with little time to focus on the things we love most. Our house was enormous but cold, drafty and old. we spent a lot of time sorting fire wood to heat the place and it took ages to clean and tidy even after we decluttered nearly half our possessions. I am often home alone with the kids, for sometimes weeks at a time with little notice, I just didn’t have time to upkeep such a big section, all the pets, and the house, let alone keep the kids alive and make sure they have allergy friendly food made for each meal. It was really stressful trying to juggle everything.

Our new house still has enough backyard for the kids and dog to play, for a small veggie garden and a green house (and maybe a couple chooks if I can convince Chef Dad 😆). The neighbors behind us have land with fejoa trees along our whole fence line 🙌. Our house is warm and dry and easy to heat and set out so i can watch the kids play outside while I’m in the kitchen. Really hoping less space means less maintenance and upkeep and therefore more time to do the things that we love. Which for me is blogging, cooking and writing! And of course spending time with the kids without having to worry about the wall that needs painting and the fence that’s going to fall down.

In our case, bigger isn’t always better. Sometimes it might sound like someone is living the dream, but you just don’t know, behind the scenes what sort of stress is being created to upkeep that life. It was a huge decision to admit that we were in too deep, and there was blood sweat and tears involved in the buying, selling and moving process. In fact I think I’m still in fight or flight, but Just in this short week post move, I’m realising how much of a valuable decision we have made. So here’s to onwards and upwards, moving on to bigger (but actually smaller) and better things, and hopefully more free time to do the things that matter to us most.

Kayla

Confessions of a Healthy Food Blogger

I share a fairly popular recipe for zucchini cheese – but I never make it myself, and always buy that super expensive vegan cheese from the supermarket.

I don’t like Brussel sprouts, I think they taste like farts. I live with three males (five including the cat and the dog) yes, I know what farts taste like.

My kids won’t eat frozen peas, in fact they won’t eat frozen mixed veggies either. Purely to make my life difficult. Except this one time I told my friend that my kids don’t eat peas and my 1 year old then stole and ate all the peas from her sons lunchbox.

Ashton, just Ashton. Ashton is incredibly fussy. He has the most ginormous list of foods he won’t eat, and bunch of finicky food preferences that I often comply with because I hate the moaning at the dinner table. If you want a winge-fest serve roast chicken (unless it’s a supermarket rotisserie basted in all sorts of non allergy friendly crap that he shouldn’t eat), or potatoes, especially mashed, roasted is marginally acceptable but only if they are cut into 1cm cubes, and crisp, but not too crisp, heaven forbid. Or try soup – if it’s soup, it’s inedible. Make sure you have you best gag face at the ready to make a performance at the table on soup night. Also if its marginally spicy, it may as well be poisonous. Someone save me from this kid he is a healthy food bloggers worst nightmare.

My kids won’t eat my homemade hummus, the two little ones just straight up won’t touch the stuff while Ashton will only eat “Lisa’s” hummus original flavour.

Sometimes I eat proper crisps for breakfast … and let the baby join me.

None of my kids eat raw carrot sticks, but I put them in their lunchboxes all the time because they look good in photos.

When I was a kid I used to steal meal mates crackers from the pantry and eat raro juice sachets like it was sherbet.

My mum buys the kids allergy friendly biscuits and chocolate and I eat it all myself.

Our children are allowed pudding once a week. But every night when they go to bed we eat chips and chocolate and mug cakes.

Most of my blog photos are taken on our bed covered in white sheets, or on the floor of our snail infested sunroom (best lighting in the house 😆)- I peg an upside down piece of scrap vinyl to a portable clothes rack to bounce the light off. Once I spilled a milkshake all through the bed during a photo shoot.

Sometimes I lie to the kids about what they are allergic to, so they don’t eat too much sugar, because I can’t handle the meltdowns.

Anyone else got anything to confess?!

Kayla

Why i’m so grateful for having kids with food allergies

It did take me about 4 years to realise it. But having kids with food allergies is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

They say every person that comes into your life does so for a reason. My boys have taught me more in these 5 short years than I learned in my entire life time. They have taught me love and dedication like I never thought possible. They have taught me compassion and empathy.
They have taught me gratitude and mindfulness. They have shown me I am a powerful force to be reckoned with, fierce with strength, courage, determination and passion. They have taught me patience and persistence. I thought I had it all figured out, but they have changed me in ways I never imagined. They have taught me that perfection is just a word, not something to strive for. That there is beauty, peace and love in every day, and it is our job to find this, be it within our environment, or ourselves. I have learned that the universe doesn’t owe us anything and being happy is our responsibility.

I spent a long time after the birth of Ashton, trying to find myself again, I searched in all sorts of places and I realised later that I would never find what I was looking for. Having a child changes you, but having a child with extra challenges also changes you.

I had this beautiful premonition as I set up the baby’s room, 8 months pregnant, of what life will look like. I would will feed the baby calmly and quietly to sleep in the rocking chair. I would go for picturesque sunset walks along the beach with the baby and the dog. Life will be hard and I will be tired but being a parent will be so rewarding. Fast forward two months, I am taking the baby for a walk but it’s 9am and he has been screaming for 6 hours straight, he has done nothing but scream for the last week. He is covered in rashes and vomits up all his feeds. I’m pretty sure the dog hasn’t been fed in two days and i’m not sure when I last had a shower. I’m very seriously considering which house to drop the baby off at (like actually, this was a legit plan, my mum had to come and rescue him!) I haven’t slept in 10 days. Unfortunately it didn’t get much better for about 6 months! At which point the doctors said that I was only partially crazy, and Ashton actually had food allergies. Parenting was not rewarding. I was all “why me, why us, why him”, “what did we do to deserve this?” Everything was always about poor Ashton and how he couldn’t have this or that. There was a lot of moping around about how we missed out on the first year of his life because I couldn’t get a doctor to diagnose his allergies sooner. He was on all sorts of medications for reflux and stomach issues and it was all quite a sad state of affairs.

The days were long but the years were short, the fog of depression lifted and as I slowly gained more knowledge I began to realise that we were not helpless onlookers to some video game. We had the controls, and we could control the present and the future. We could control our actions, but most importantly our thoughts and feelings. This is what was missing, I fought for Ashton from the day he was born, everyday I was doing things to try and better our situation. But I wasn’t happy about the hand we had been dealt.

When Felix was born we were dealt a similar hand, but a change in thinking can really change your life. Felix also did nothing but scream for the first 8 weeks of his life, I got 4 blocks of 45 minute sleep a night – by the time I had pumped breastmilk for him, cleaned the equipment, breastfed and bottle fed him, then got him back to sleep. I’d then get up and look after 2 kids for the day. Tired and weary I would say things like ‘it won’t always be like this’ and ‘at least he doesn’t vomit all the time’, ‘he’s so cute when he sleeps’, ‘ these days will pass quickly’, and ‘how lucky are we to have two boys’. I never wanted to put him back and I certainly could not fathom dropping him off on someone’s doorstep! This kid has taught me resilience like no other. I could have given up the feeding routine, we could have put him on a bunch of medication, we could have loathed the countless hours we spent walking his screaming body up and down the dark hallway. While I wouldn’t volunteer to go back to that time (or for round 3!), i’m glad that it happened to us. It has made me appreciate every minute that a baby is asleep and without pain, every second that our children spend happy and content and every day that they are alive and well, because sadly, some people are not so lucky.

Having kids with food allergies has taught me empathy and compassion. During the 10 months I breastfed Felix, 9 of those months I lived off 10 foods (sometimes less and that was counting salt and pepper!) It taught me empathy for these kids of ours who can’t have a piece of birthday cake, who sit and watch their classmates eat christmas chocolates, or watch everyone eat cheese and crackers at the family lunch. That was me, for nearly a year I got to be that kid. And at times it sucked. There is no feeling quite like it. Knowing this, I make sure the boys don’t miss out on anything. They always have homemade safe versions of most things, and I usually one up them by making it healthier. It has given me the opportunity to explain to them, that though they can’t have what everyone else has got, they don’t want it, because for the most part it’s full of processed ingredients that are going to make them feel like crap. It has given me the understanding and self control to model the behavior by avoiding the foods alongside them. I also took on the mindset of, instead of us missing out, everyone else was really missing out on the opportunity to put real, nourishing food into their bodies. Today I appreciate food more than ever, I don’t want the cake and that’s my choice. What I’ve learned from having such a limited diet has changed all our eating habits for the better and made me realise what it feels like to be truly healthy, happy and energized, and I am so grateful for that!

This experience has taught me that there are some truly wonderful, kind and just generally kickass-amazing human beings out there. Some of these people were complete strangers and they have given me advice and knowledge that has changed the course of our life. Some helped us see specialists for Felix and one lady gave me personal advice on how to pursue a total elimination diet, which was the start to us ending Felix’s pain and suffering. From that, we have never looked back. I am so glad I have met some of these people and experienced how kind and caring our human race can really be. I endeavor to pay this forward whenever I can, to be that kind human being that reached out to help another fellow mum in need.

When I am up late preparing safe snacks for the boys to take to a birthday party, I am grateful. I am grateful they are not filling their bodies with junk. I am grateful they are learning about what they can and can’t eat and how to manage their allergies responsibly. I am grateful that I love to cook and can use this opportunity to do so. I am grateful that we are aware of how different foods can affect our bodies and can make healthy choices based on this. I am grateful we are not filling our bodies with chemicals, fake foods, colours or preservatives.

When I open the fridge to get ‘starving Felix’ a snack and there is nothing right there, he can eat, I am grateful. I am grateful that the kid who was once fed through a tube down his nose is asking for food. I am grateful that I can find any fruit or vegetable and prepare this for him to eat, 5 months ago he could only eat 4 foods. I’m so grateful for that. I am grateful that though I often have to spend time preparing him something, rather than grab it off a shelf, I am teaching him patience, as he watches me find something and helps me cook it. Don’t be fooled there is often squealing involved and it ends in pots and pans pulled out all over the kitchen floor! But that’s ok because he has also taught me that perfect isn’t having organised cupboards or clean floors. Perfect is that moment right now, because life is happening and we are all OK.

I have learned that we all have problems and challenges. Sitting next to my child, limp and lethargic in the emergency room after he has vomited until he is passed out because of something he ate, is not much fun. But neither is sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, waiting to have your child’s 5th ear infection that month, diagnosed. Neither is dealing with major scream-cry-and-throw-shit temper tantrums all day. Nor is getting up every.single.hour overnight to an unsettled baby. I am no more super than the rest of you. You can have your unsettled baby and your ear infections, and i’ll have my children with food allergies, because that’s what I do best.

So last year I found something, I discovered this resourceful, passionate, driven, strong, truly blessed woman. She wasn’t quite what I had been looking for, she was better. I have food allergies to thank for that. The experience has helped shape me into the person I am today and this, I am so grateful for.

 

Kayla