Once Upon a Time…

Once upon a time there was a Mum whose baby just didn’t seem quite right. He wasn’t doing the baby stuff that all the other parents said their babies were doing, he hated being fed, he loathed sleep and he cried a lot. Like screamed, all the time, way more than babies usually do. His Mum had never been a parent before, but deep down inside she knew that something wasn’t right, so she visited doctor after doctor trying to explain that she felt in the pit of her stomach that her baby’s body wasn’t happy and perhaps it had something to do with what she was feeding him. Only to be told, that what she was experiencing was normal. After a long time, someone finally listened and perhaps agreed that he might be reacting to what he was being fed, but only because his weight on the chart now reflected that he should be investigated further. From then on the Mum decided to listen to her gut more often and follow her instincts, and mostly, they lived happily ever after.

Twice upon a time there was a Mum who had learned to listen to her gut for the health of her baby. She gave birth to her second baby, who very quickly became unwell and in a lot of pain. She visited the doctor, again, even though she had very broken trust from past experiences and suggested that she knew her baby was reacting to food she had eaten. The doctor completely squandered her suggestion and told her that it was rubbish, and to eat whatever she liked and sent her on her way. The mum knew herself, she knew her baby, and she followed her instincts. And it turns out, she was right (again!). For two years she fought for the health of her son, and not only was she heard in the end, but she lifted his health above and beyond what was ever expected and used her experience to help inspire and empower other Mums who were also fighting to be heard. And for the most part, they lived happily ever after.

Thrice upon a time, there was a Mum who could tune in to that quiet inner voice, deep within her gut, the one full of doubt, but reason, despite being broken over and over. She trusted herself and her baby to lead them through the right path to health and happiness. When her third baby was a few weeks old, covered in fiery, sore skin, on her face, all over her back and down her arms. she ignored the suggestions of hormone rash and cradle cap, and she found a strange suggestion in the voice in her gut. (The voice told her that her baby was reacting to coconut, which really sucked because she was already dairy free and all the yummy treats were made from coconut!) She listened to it, and within three days her babies skin was miraculously clear. She continued to tune in to her most inner Mum voice and her baby has been the happiest and healthiest of all the children, and in fact at two years old has never needed to visit the doctor. And so far, they lived happily ever after.

The moral of the story? That voice inside your gut is there to be listened to, it knows more than you could ever imagine. No one is more expert on your child than you are. If someone tries to tell you it is normal, and you know it’s not, tune in to that voice and search for the answers you are looking for. If you are going to trust anything, trust that voice that holds your Mum instincts. Sometimes you might need to gently peel away layers of fear, or pride, or anxiety, to hear it properly, then when you get that niggling message, make sure you don’t ignore it, it’s trying to tell you something important.

The Lunchbox Mum

When Ashton was five and Felix was 6 months old, I quit my job to be a stay at home Mum. As I envisioned myself as a school Mum … a stay at home school Mum. I envisioned being that Mum that turns up to school pick up in activewear, because I’ve actually done yoga or gone for a run. The Mum with the slick pony tail who always knew what day it was, and sent her son off to school every day in clean clothes with a healthy 100% homemade packed lunch. The Mum who turned up to help out in class occasionally and paid the school fees on time. The Mum who was always smiling, and organised, with a clear head and a clean car.

The last two years has taught me, that I am in fact, none of those Mums! I’m the Mum that stays in the car at school drop off because she is wearing her slippers, and the toddler is in his pyjamas. I’m the Mum who may have actually been for a walk or a run, but is wearing track pants because she hasn’t shaved her legs in 6 months. I’m the Mum with the un-brushed messy bun, probably still up from overnight, and clothes covered in baby puke, snot and possibly poop, maybe chocolate – but probably poop. I’m the Mum who hasn’t been in to meet the new teacher except through the car window one time. I’m the Mum whose son goes to school regularly wearing odd socks, and on occasion, odd shoes. I’m The Mum who has no idea what day it is, but can tell the time by how heavy her eyes feel. And the Mum who can’t see the floor of her car (last time I checked there was an open jar of mayonnaise in the back seat). But I am also the Mum who tries her best to send her boy to school everyday with a lunchbox made with love. Love doesn’t have to be homemade, or tidy, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Love just has to try it’s best.

Here is what it looks like when I am that Mum, the one who is messy, unorganised, covered in baby excretions, and tired beyond belief, that tries to send her boys off with a nourishing lunchbox every day. My lunchboxes aren’t perfect, they are not 100% homemade, they are made quickly, on little sleep, and sometimes empty cupboards. When my boys open their lunchboxes, I hope that they see the love.

Don’t worry about perfection, because even the most experienced of us don’t get it right, all the time. Be inspired to pack lunchboxes out of love and the kids will have everything they need 💞

And if you need a little helping hand, this resource I created helped to make sure the kids had somewhat healthy lunchboxes packed daily, in my manic attempt to get everyone out the door on time

https://mailchi.mp/b75eda91781a/chefashton_lunchboxplanner?fbclid=IwAR2zWqBO66IABaMZNqWiyNpDMObZCwe_TTv5MeQgwt92_PsHLadMMrU41Eo

Hey there, Allergy Mama

Hey there allergy Mama,

I see you, up late at night making safe cupcakes to take to the birthday celebration tomorrow. 

I see you, reading all the food labels at the supermarket and quizzing the restaurant staff with tireless questions. 

I see you, wondering was it food? Which food was it, or is it just a tummy bug? I know – the guessing game is just so tiresome. 

I see you, lying awake at night worrying, feeling guilt. The guilt. It’s relentless. Did I do this to my child? Could I have done something better? Could I have prevented that reaction? Could I be doing more to help? 

I see you, hide your disappointment that your child didn’t get invited, because of his allergies. That she missed out, yet again, because of her allergies. 

I see you, in the kitchen. Always in the kitchen, planning, baking, preparing, chopping, cooking. So much food prep, but without it, they would suffer. 

I see you, holding open tired eyes, making yet another dinner when you wish you could just order take out, like everyone else. 

I see you, with a forced smile and a heavy heart, as you reply ‘no thanks, we can’t eat that’ for the hundredth time.

I see you, do your best to mend a child’s broken heart, as they face the disappointment of not being able to join in, or eat the food. While you silently pick up the shattered pieces of your own heart. 

I see you, holding your screaming baby, dropping silent tears down his back, because you know, that this road ahead will be long. 

I see you. And I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for mending broken hearts with your homemade cupcakes. Thank you for showing up, everyday, even when it feels too hard. Thank you for asking the hard questions, and sharing the harsh truths. You were chosen for this, because you are strong enough, you are smart enough and you are brave enough. 

I was you. I am you. We are all in this together. Thank you for joining me in this beautiful community here, full of love, support and of course healthy, allergy friendly food. 

If you want a space to connect and have a chat, you can find me here

Love and Peace,

Kayla